Update #8

Hello,

Since we last wrote an update, there have been some changes that being made.  

Last Thursday, we had a hard meeting with our director here at BAIS.  During this meeting, we were told that we would need to return to the states in mid-January.  These guys had such a hard decision to make here, and we believe that they prayed much about it and have only our best interest at heart.  I would hate to have had to been in their shoes in that meeting.  There reasonings are sound, and they are taking good care of us with insurance for the next couple of years. They are providing much assistance and care for us through out our time here as well.  We honestly believe that these guys made a decision for us that we could not have made ourselves.  And, it is a good decision.  Living in Indonesia with this cancer would be difficult and good medical care (and David's oncologist) would be a ~2 hour flight away.  We are very grateful for our administrative team at BAIS.  They are all so faithful to the Lord and pray and dig into the Word.  We are honored to have served under them.  Thank you so much, Pete, Dan and Charity.  We love you guys!

All that said, even good decisions can cause hurt and sadness.  We leave a bit of our hearts here in Indonesia. We will miss our friends, church, work, and the students so very much.  We will spend the next 39 days RAFTing like crazy with people, foods, places and our pets as well.  

RAFT is an acronym for saying good bye well.

R-Reconcile

A-Affirm

F-Farewell

T-Think ahead

We leave for Singapore on Wednesday for follow up appts with the urologist and nephrologist. and we meet with the oncologist as well. We hope that David can begin Chemo at this time, and that the oncologist can have a protocol for David that can be easily transferred to a doctor in Texas or wherever the Lord has us land.  

We are already praying about where God will have us.  We pray that we will be patient and listen to exactly where and what God wants with this move.  This is not an easy move for our kids.  They have loved growing up overseas.  The US is full of scary unknowns for them.  Of course there are happy thoughts like What-a-burger, Taco Bueno, Walmart, drinking from the faucet and other western things.  But, Emma mentioned today how much she will miss the mosque calls, and thinks that we will probably end up missing the things the most that annoy us now.  like loud grocery stores....  They will miss foods that are not in Texas.  They are afraid that people will not understand them.  They are afraid of what it means to live in America.  Their worldview is different.  They are afraid of making mistakes and getting laughed at. and, i thank the Lord, that they are telling me these things.  They are great kids. Praying that they can adapt well to yet another culture; the one that their parents know of but they really don't understand.

David is doing fairly well.  He has begun having knee pain.  This is scary cuz we do not know if it is because of the surgery or because the cancer is eating more of his bone.  Praying even more and learning to have to lean on Jesus for all our fears and doubts.  We go to Singapore at the end of this week and hope to get answers about the knee.

We are still in a strange place with this new idea of David having terminal cancer. Emma, Jeff, Grace and I have all had struggles waking up in the morning and thinking it was all a bad dream. Only to wake up more and find out it did all happen.  Those are the hard moments for me, but God is still there, and He is showing me still how much He loves us.  

I have the funny thing of having little movies play in my head.  

The latest one is of us standing at the entrance to this path.  It is dark, and thorny and ugly with scary trees.  and the road is rocky full of holes.  These holes are more like abysses. None of us want to take one step forward because we are afraid of tripping and falling into an abyss.  We are all standing there looking at each other. Then, Jesus appears from the path.  He has a light, but just enough for the next few steps in front of us.  He reaches out His hand and tells us to walk with Him.  I tell Him the road is rough, dark, scary, and unsure.  He smiles at me gently, and then He tells me that He knows the road and that He planned the road long long ago and He knows how to walk it. The first step is the hardest isnt it.  The one that says, Yes, Lord, I will trust You to take me down this terrible road.  and, yes, Lord, i know that this is a road that was already travelled by you and approved by You.  Once we take that step and faith builds on faith.  It won't necessarily get happier, but it will still be good, because we are walking it with Him.  And, He will lead us to our rest.  This is how i am doing day to day. Having to wake up and take His hand and walk.  Oh i still see the abysses and they still scare me and the road ahead looks darker and darker, but we are walking in the Light.

thanks for "listening" to me talk about the journey...

incredibly therapeutic to write it out.  and, it is keeping me honest. ;-)

Thanks for you prayers and encouragement.

Much love to you guys!

Kim and David