Below there are a series of updates that I posted on Facebook and then realized a lot of you guys are not necessarily on Facebook.
Please read through our journey over the last 2 1/2 weeks.
It is a tough road but we do not walk it alone. We are amazed by the portions of grace that the Father has poured out on us. Praising Him for His goodness and His sovereignty.
Thanks for walking with us...
David and Kim and the kiddos
Update on David #1
November 24, 2011
Hello friends,
Thought i would update you on David so you can have the details.
We are in the hospital in Singapore.
For those of you who do not know, David has been having increasing R knee pain over the last 4-6 weeks. He had no injury. Th pain and stiffness stiffness just came on out of the blue. Over the last 2 weeks the pain and swelling and lack of range of motion started progressing pretty fast. By Friday of last week David was unable to sustain any pressure on his knee at all and was hobbling around, He went to bed and stayed there for 3-4 days. Everytime he let his leg dangle the pain increased to beyond tolerable.
We were referred to the dr. here in Singapore (this is the same dr who did Grace's knee surgery) and after examining him and reading MRIs and X-rays has determined that David has a tumor in his femur. It is partially in his femur and partially outside his femur.
He is not sure what kind of tumor it is.
David will have surgery on Friday (tomorrow) 25 Nov 2011 to have the tumor biopsied. During the surgery they will do a frozen biopsy to determine what kind of tumor it is. There are three possible scenarios, according to our dr. (and a bone tumor specialist that he has called in to help him)
1. It is an infectious tumor: if this is the case then they will scoop of the tumor and clear the margins on the bone and then clean up around the knee to get rid of all infection. Then David will stay in the hospital for several days to get IV antibiotics. Then, he will take oral antibiotics for at least 2 months to make certain all infection is gone. then after the two months, we will return to singapore to have the hole in his bone reconstructed with bone shavings from his hip. (ouch)
2. It is a benign tumor: if this is the case then they will scoop out the tumor and clear the margins on the femur and immediately reconstruct the hole in his bone with bone shavings from his hip. (again ouch)
3. It is a malignant tumor: if this is the case then they will close the incision until they can study the biopsy further to determine what kind of cancer it is. Then the best treatment options will come 3-4 days later.
Please pray for wisdom for the surgeons in treatment options and the pathologists to see the correct type of cells.
Please pray for David as his pain is quite unbearable without pain meds.
and for David as he comes out of anesthesia. the last time he had surgery (22 years ago) he came out of anethesia very badly.
pray for David and I to have wisdom and peace and a strong witness of God's faithfulness, sovereignty and goodness no matter what the outcome. we want to be a strong witness to the Father and bring Him glory. We know that He is good no matter what the outcome.
pray for us to have grace for the day and not try to think and plan for an uncertain future.
pray for the kids as they are in Bandung and Calgary and hearing everything and not being able to hug their daddy.
please pray for and give God thanks for all our friends in Bandung who are really stepping in and helping us with the kids and classwork
We have seen God so beautifully every step on this journey. He is SO faithful.
Thanks for praying.
I will update when i can post surgery.
Blessings
Kim for all of us Durhams ;-)
Update #2 on David
Friday, 25 November 2011 at 21:04
First, thank you all so much for your prayers and support of us through this. We have been so blessed. and so encouraged. even though we are in a city where we dont know anyone really well, we feel loved and supported and cared for. We have seen God in every single detail. He is such a good and loving Father.
Also, thanks for your patience. We wanted to let our family. know about this before we post this for the world to see. :-)
David's surgery went well. They found that he did not actually have a fleshy tumor but rather it was a pocket of fluid. They also discovered that the hole in his femur measures 3cm in diameter. As they were cleaning out the fluid and scraping the bone to get to the healthy bone tissue, they noticed some "gelatinous tissue" so they stopped and took a section of it and sent it to the lab. The lab report came back as being highly suspicious for malignancy. so they cleaned it all out and sent it all to the lab for further study. We should have those results back on Tuesday or Wednesday of next week. He also scheduled David for a PET scan for Monday. This will help to see if there is cancer anywhere else in the knee or the rest of his body for that matter.
Our dr. is still holding out some hope that this is just some really strange infectious tissue, but he admits that this is a small chance. He is so kind. And, we are so grateful for him to keep looking at all alternatives.
He gave us two scenarios (i think he likes scenarios) you all should all meet this guy. he is awesome.
1rst scenario.....the frozen biopsy is wrong and it is not cancer, but rather infection. if this is the case, same as before, iv antibiotics for a while and then 6 months later reconstruct the bone...
2nd scenario.... it is a malignancy and the malignancy is confined to the knee. this is where david and thought it was pretty cool. they will remove the entire knee... and replace it with a prostethic knee that goes under the skin. This is called limb salvage. not too long ago this would have meant an above knee amputation, but now the can save the lower leg and put in a completely artificial knee. is that not cool?
3rd scenario...it is malignant, and there is more cancer other than the knee...if this is the case, well we will deal with that later.
grace for the moment.
we are trusting God with every step. we feel such a peace. we really do. God has been in every single detail. He has protected our hearts each step of the way.
He is sovereign and He is good.
love to all of you. thanks for praying....please don't stop.
praise Him with us for all He is doing. We are so grateful for our community at BAIS who are praying for us and caring for our kiddos. We are truly blessed.
More to come when we know more.
david and kim
Update on David #3
y Kim Durham on Monday, 28 November 2011 at 20:59
Well,
God is sovereign and God is good. And He has promised to never leave us and to walk with us through the darkest valley.
We are about to enter a pretty dark valley.
David’s PET scan shows a probable primary tumor in the kidney, with a spots on the lungs, and an affected lymph node behind the trachea as well as the knee.
This is all we know. Our doctor is bringing in a urologist tomorrow.
We are reeling a bit, but not out of control. We are constantly reminding each other who holds everything together, whose voice rules the waters and the wind and spoke the world into existence. He is healer. He is provider. He is Jehovah, YAWEH,
He is our God.
We are scared. No hiding that. But we are confident too in the fact the God knows all of our steps. He knows our pain, our sadness, our fear, and He is there to hold on to. He is so incredibly faithful. We see in Him in everything here.
My (kim) mind is playing movie reels even as I type this that is kinda like a documentary. With red arrows pointing “here” and “here” and “here” etc. I have no cause to run away or be angry or be in despair. He is there. And He is not silent….
Please pray for our faith to be made strong. Pray that we glorify His name in every move we make.
That is the desire here. No matter what, we show God to be sovereign and good.
Kim and David
Thanks everyone so much for your encouragement
Tuesday, 29 November 2011 at 09:48
You guys have blessed us with your prayers and your words comfort and encouragement.
We are clinging to God like crazy right now. This is not some amazing act of faith on our part really. This is survival. I cannot even begin to imagine how to do this without God. I was telling MC (for those of you who dont know her; she is a very dear friend who does not let me get way with anything) that Peter comes to mind a lot these last two days. Like i can see it like on a movie. The storm is raging, a lot like the storm in The Perfect Storm, and the boat is going kinda crazy and out in the distance they see Him. They see Jesus. He was walking on the water. Peter without even thinking (i imagine him not even thinking) gets out of the boat and starts walking ON WATER. So boldly He did this. But, then, He lost his focus. He looked at the water, the storm, the sky. doesnt really say what he looked at.....He took His eyes off Jesus. and he sunk.
I know that i know that i know if i take my eyes off Jesus, i am going to sink. I am a lot like Peter. I jump first and think later. (those of you who know us well know that david thinks and thinks and thnks and then he jumps too - Could we be more opposite? ;-) ) I digress. I am petrified of sinking. I have sunk many times before and just like for Peter, Jesus reaches out and gets me and pulls me back up. But, i am usually so frustrated with myself, humiliated, discouraged, ashamed. Yes, by God's grace, i am forgiven and cared for when i fail to trust in Him, but the consequences, or better said. the benefits of not losing focus are far greater.
I have faith right now by God's grace. i literally run to Him about every 10 minutes so far since we got David's PET scan results. I run to the Word and to His arms. I cannot imagine the future. When i do, i break down, because i do not know the future. Only God does. So, i need your prayers to not put my hope in the future but to my hope in the Father who knows and planned and sovereignly ordained our future.
So, in essence, we are firm in our faith, but we know sinking will occur if we do not focus on Jesus, the perfecter of our faith. We are not strong. We cannot do this. The only way we make it through this and still bring glory to God is by submitting every emotion, thought and fear to Him and letting Him heal.
i think it is ok to be scared. just take those scared feelings to Him every time so that it does not get a stronghold and gives way to despair or loss of faith or the loss of a compass to navigate through this.
Kim and David
Update on David #4
Wednesday, 30 November 2011 at 11:09
Hello precious friends and prayer partners!
Today is surgery day. (again) At 5pm Singapore time (3am CST, 2am Mountain Time) David will go for removal of his left kidney. It has a tumor of about 6cm that takes up a large portion of the kidney. It is believed that his kidney has most likely lost it functioning anyways. And, the principle cancer needs to be removed to help prevent further spreading and to study the cancer cells to decide on the absolute best chemo therapy. He will stay in the hospital til Saturday or Sunday. Then we stay in Singapore til Wednesday and then if all goes according to plan we get to go back to Bandung for about 10 days. Then we will return to Singapore for a wound check and to begin Chemo.
This is quite the journey.
God has been so here. It has been the most amazing experience to almost feeling Him physically here. Each time i think there is no way i can take one more piece of news, i feel His hand reach out and i know that He knows....
I cannot do this. But, God can through me. I'll say it again. We can trace His steps leading to this moment. We see Him in the present (great drs, amazing BAIS family, peace that makes no sense whatsoever, "stuck" in a city with awesome restaurants ;-) ) and we see Him waiting fo us and with us on the path that lies ahead. He knows the path. We just need to walk it with Him.
As to how to pray, if healing occurs obviously we would be amazed and we know He can do that if He so chooses. But, truly we covet your prayers for faithfulness in the journey. Our number one desire is to glorify Him in EVERY SINGLE STEP of this journey. It will not be easy. We have hard things to decide and to live through. But, what an amazing outcome to have His name be renowned through this. We do not want to waste this opportunity to magnify His name.
In saying that, when we are praising Him and expressing peace and strength, it is so very important to us that no one sees us as strong or peaceful, but that they see God alone. It is inexplicable what is going on in my heart. I am a worrier. I am a doomsday-person. I have never ever in my life felt this sense of God's presence and had the desire to choose the hard road with Him. David has always been that kind of person. So, he is ready to take the journey instinctively. But, again this is the Holy Spirit in David.
thanks so much for your prayers
Kim and David.
Update on David #5
Wednesday, 30 November 2011 at 20:46
Surgery is over. Surgeon came and talked to us and the surgery went exactly as according to plan. They did remove his left kidney and surrounding lymph nodes. There was a tumor that was taking up a large part of the kidney. So no surprise there, but definite verification.
They said that David was stable in surgery and should be up in the room in the next 30 minutes to an hour.
Recovery should go as planned.
Thanks so much for all the prayers.....keep them coming.. :-)
We are through one checkpoint now on to the next.....
praising God for a great team of doctors.
He has been with us all the way.
kim
Update on David #6
Thursday, 1 December 2011 at 10:49
David slept well most of the night, but is in quite a bit of pain. He is trying to move around in bed and hopes to get up in the chair today. Please pray for his pain to managed well so that he can improve and get moving around and heal more quickly. Thanks for all your prayers and support. The next couple of days will be quiet news-wise. But, will be busy trying to get David up walking and moving. We are so encouraged by all of you. Our faith is still strong. We are so amazed at His provision and peace and His grace.
Your prayers and notes have done much to encourage and love on us. God is everywhere in this. How fun to see Him in every step of this.
Love you all!
Update on David #7
Tuesday, 6 December 2011 at 21:13
Hello dear friends
i am wanting to update you on David.
We just had our follow up appointments and they all say he is progressing as expected. Praise God!!! I need to say again how blessed we are to have our doctors here. Jehovah Jireh!
His right kidney is functioning pretty well considering it is doing the work of two now. They expect it to continue to do well. David was referred to a kidney internist because the kidney they removed had some some minor kidney disease. So, they will monitor the right kidney throughout chemo and such.
We will see the oncologist on Dec 15th, but for now we go home (bandung) tomorrow (Dec 7th). Cannot wait to hug our kids and love on them and see friends and learn how to live a new way of living.
We are doing well. Growing and learning. The shock is wearing off. The grief is not as raw (at least for now) We are beginning to plan for the next wee bit for Christmas. Changing our plans from the US to staying in Indonesia and bringing Gracie here.
We are ready to sit as a family and just love on each other. So happy about this.
There is much to rejoice about this Christmas. God's fingerprints are everywhere throughout this whole process. Praising Him through grief has been so good. so new.
i get to feeling out of sorts and i cannot help but just fall into His arms and rest. This is so new for me and i am finding such joy in learning to rest when i want to fight to the end. now, i fight for a bit...kinda like a baby that is fighting sleep... then i just give up and rest and it feels so good. pray that i keep resting my hopes in HIM alone.
Please pray for David to experience continued healing and less and less pain. so far healing is happening really well.
David's peace is inspiring. He is so content. He is sad that the end of this means leaving us way to soon (barring a miracle)but, He has such confidence in the Lord. Love this guy!!!! So blessed to be going through this with him...
You all have been so amazing with your prayers and encouragement.
We love you all so much.
Kim and David
11 December 2011
Since we last wrote an update, there have been some changes that being made.
Last Thursday, we had a hard meeting with our director here at BAIS. During this meeting, we were told that we would need to return to the states in mid-January. These guys had such a hard decision to make here, and we believe that they prayed much about it and have only our best interest at heart. I would hate to have had to been in their shoes in that meeting. There reasonings are sound, and they are taking good care of us with insurance for the next couple of years. They are providing much assistance and care for us through out our time here as well. We honestly believe that these guys made a decision for us that we could not have made ourselves. And, it is a good decision. Living in Indonesia with this cancer would be difficult and good medical care (and David's oncologist) would be a ~2 hour flight away. We are very grateful for our administrative team at BAIS. They are all so faithful to the Lord and pray and dig into the Word. We are honored to have served under them. Thank you so much, Pete, Dan and Charity. We love you guys!
All that said, even good decisions can cause hurt and sadness. We leave a bit of our hearts here in Indonesia. We will miss our friends, church, work, and the students so very much. We will spend the next 39 days RAFTing like crazy with people, foods, places and our pets as well.
RAFT is an acronym for saying good bye well.
R-Reconcile
A-Affirm
F-Farewell
T-Think ahead
We leave for Singapore on Wednesday for follow up appts with the urologist and nephrologist. and we meet with the oncologist as well. We hope that David can begin Chemo at this time, and that the oncologist can have a protocol for David that can be easily transferred to a doctor in Texas or wherever the Lord has us land.
We are already praying about where God will have us. We pray that we will be patient and listen to exactly where and what God wants with this move. This is not an easy move for our kids. They have loved growing up overseas. The US is full of scary unknowns for them. Of course there are happy thoughts like What-a-burger, Taco Bueno, Walmart, drinking from the faucet and other western things. But, Emma mentioned today how much she will miss the mosque calls, and thinks that we will probably end up missing the things the most that annoy us now. like loud grocery stores.... They will miss foods that are not in Texas. They are afraid that people will not understand them. They are afraid of what it means to live in America. Their worldview is different. They are afraid of making mistakes and getting laughed at. and, i thank the Lord, that they are telling me these things. They are great kids. Praying that they can adapt well to yet another culture; the one that their parents know of but they really don't understand.
David is doing fairly well. He has begun having knee pain. This is scary cuz we do not know if it is because of the surgery or because the cancer is eating more of his bone. Praying even more and learning to have to lean on Jesus for all our fears and doubts. We go to Singapore at the end of this week and hope to get answers about the knee.
We are still in a strange place with this new idea of David having terminal cancer. Emma, Jeff, Grace and I have all had struggles waking up in the morning and thinking it was all a bad dream. Only to wake up more and find out it did all happen. Those are the hard moments for me, but God is still there, and He is showing me still how much He loves us.
I have the funny thing of having little movies play in my head.
The latest one is of us standing at the entrance to this path. It is dark, and thorny and ugly with scary trees. and the road is rocky full of holes. These holes are more like abysses. None of us want to take one step forward because we are afraid of tripping and falling into an abyss. We are all standing there looking at each other. Then, Jesus appears from the path. He has a light, but just enough for the next few steps in front of us. He reaches out His hand and tells us to walk with Him. I tell Him the road is rough, dark, scary, and unsure. He smiles at me gently, and then He tells me that He knows the road and that He planned the road long long ago and He knows how to walk it. The first step is the hardest isnt it. The one that says, Yes, Lord, I will trust You to take me down this terrible road. and, yes, Lord, i know that this is a road that was already travelled by you and approved by You. Once we take that step and faith builds on faith. It won't necessarily get happier, but it will still be good, because we are walking it with Him. And, He will lead us to our rest. This is how i am doing day to day. Having to wake up and take His hand and walk. Oh i still see the abysses and they still scare me and the road ahead looks darker and darker, but we are walking in the Light.
thanks for "listening" to me talk about the journey...
incredibly therapeutic to write it out. and, it is keeping me honest. ;-)
Thanks for you prayers and encouragement.
Much love to you guys!
Kim and David
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